She's Still Dead
by Charlie Lass

Diana Frances Mountbatten-Windsor, née Spencer, aka Diana Princess of Wales, was either:

a) A scheming social mountaineer whose manipulation of the public and of the media was relentlessly undertaken for her own selfish and unending ambition. She consistently and unimaginatively relied on her beauty and her considerable acting talent to disguise an insipid personality as a kind egalitarian, devoted to her family rather than the meddling slut that she actually was.

b) A faultlessly generous and charming woman constantly exploited by an unjust media and her unforgiving, arranged in-law family who jealously bullied her from a very young age, never allowing her to truly blossom. The decorum that she maintained throughout a series of very upsetting public defamations should be an example to the Nation and makes her tragic death all the more pointless.

Diana Spencer died in a car accident almost exactly 9 years ago and as a nation we have yet to be broken from the almost mythical trance that grips some of our minds. Her image and memory has become so entwined with feverish speculation that there are shocking public divisions over her life, intent and demise. It seems that it is no longer possible to be objective about the mother of William and Harry and that people simply have to have an opinion about her life and death.

Having said that, there seem to only be two types of Diana supporter: ones that would sooner piss in a church font on any given Sunday than have you insult her name and those who plainly don’t want to offend anyone. Where are these passionate hoards desperate to clear her name of infidelity and expose those guilty of her “murder”, and why for the love of Christ’s piss-free font do some people care so much?

Discussions that I have had in the past with hardcore Diana supporters seem to miss the point that it is absolutely fine to disagree with the dead, after all what are they going to do about it and being dead does not make you right. Thankfully. That’s not the issue though, since there is a section of our intelligent, affluent Western society that has become blinded by conspiracy and propaganda, like a dog chasing a stick, a section that refuses to believe that there isn’t some dark mystery behind the tragic death of a couple in love.

My point is simply that it’s a God awful travesty that there are still people in this time of high economic growth, exceptional cultural diversity and fascinating political climate who still give a toss about this ridiculous spin. Do people honestly believe that this crap is worth their time?

By her own admission Diana was “as thick as a plank” but intellectual idiocy wasn’t her most productive character trait.  Turn to charity work, infidelity, hospital visits so long as they are not your own and mine-sweeping to witness a much better use of someone’s time. If the Daily Express can generate 100,000 more sales by having her name on their cover (a total of 32 times) then it is not only Diana (and her sacred memory) that be tarred with manipulation.

However, could it be that our British lives are left so unfulfilled and our faith in our Government is so waning that we accept that our security services murdered “the most photographed woman in the word” because “she was to dilute the Royal line” (House of Hanover anyone?) so unprofessionally that the inquest still rages? Or should we put our faith in a ranting foreigner so corrupt that he laces Knightsbridge and West Brompton with bunkers and tunnels and our same “assassinating” Government won’t give him a passport…